Pam Ayres on Covid
I’m normally a social girl – I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here we can’t go out the gates.
You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now – We need to stay inside
If they haven’t seen us for a while – They’ll think we’ve upped and died.
They’ll never know the things we did – Before we got this old
There wasn’t any Facebook – So not everything was told.
We may seem sweet old ladies – Who would never be uncouth,
But we grew up in the 60s – If you only knew the truth!
There was sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll – The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied – And were quite outrageous flirts.
Then we settled down, got married – And turned into someone’s mum,
Somebody’s wife, then nana, – Who on earth did we become?
We didn’t mind the change of pace – Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we’re dead – Is like red rag to a bull!
So here you find me stuck inside – For 4 weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again – Then I had to close the door!
It didn’t really bother me – I’d while away the hour
I’d bake for all the family – But I’ve got no flaming flour!
Now Netflix is just wonderful I like a gutsy thriller
I’m swooning over Idris – Or some random sexy killer.
At least I’ve got a stash of booze – For when I’m being idle
There’s wine and whisky, even gin – If I’m feeling suicidal!
So, let’s all drink to lockdown – To recovery and health
And hope this awful virus – Doesn’t decimate our wealth.
We’ll all get through the crisis – And be back to join or mates
Just hoping I’m not far too wide – To fit through the flaming gates!