I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)
• I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 70 years later.
• I don’t have to go to school or work.
• I get an allowance every month.
• I have my own pad.
• I don’t have a curfew.
• I have a driver’s licence and my own car.
• The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne.
• Life is great.
• I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
• Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
• I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
• I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
• Old age is coming at a really bad time.
• When I was a child, I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
• The biggest lie I tell myself is” I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
• I don’t have grey hair; I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise.
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
• Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
• Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
• At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
• I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
• Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
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